It F**ked Me Off!

I laugh at people who suggesting me that I should be with someone at home. A good friend told me that she worried me when she thought of me as I was always alone and she also suggested me to find someone to be my companion. I once again laughed at her. I said that I was okay being alone because I never felt lonely or even needed someone just for sharing. I explained her that I had a couple of friends out there who would like sharing with me when I needed people to share with. I said that I had someone out there. Just because he’s so far away making him couldn’t be with me at happy or even sad times.

But yesterday I had a spent little time thinking that I needed a companion. While I was getting a horrible 'maag' (heartburnt, a kinda horrible stomachache) and I couldn’t get up even for one inch, I got tears. The tears ain’t for the horrible sickness but for a hate of being alone. I just lied on floor when it was immediately attacking me. I could stand on my hands to take the pills but the problem was I couldn’t stand on my feet or even my knees. I needed someone to help me to take my pills in the cupboard. The worst was I had no someone else but me myself! Oh yeah, I had someone who was singing for giving me a good companion but he couldn’t give me a favor at all. He just sang on my laptop’s screen as I smiled thinking I had him at that time. Oh, my guy!

I then sent two texts for someone out there. It was delivered but no a reply. I sent the second texts and I just got sucked. He might not get my texts or he didn’t have minutes to reply me. I did not know. I then forwarded some other texts to some other friends and two texts for my good friend. One text was sent to my mom –the way I didn’t use to do when I got a problem or even a sickness – got replied so fast but I was sad receiving it. She told me that I should lick some honey from my fingers but she knew that I forgot doing that treatment. And she got mad then. She and another friend called me three times but I didn’t pick them up because I had been standing on horrible stomachache.

Other reliefs from friends which raised me up were:
'Still get it?' (funny...! I received this text when I was at the most terrible time!)
'You’re not alone, honey, you have son and me.'
'Maag? What is that? Yes I know how much hard 2b live alone I wish to give you company.'
For the last reply, I knew that he was confused what 'maag' meant hehehehe... it's Indonesian version. I got laughed so loud.
After all passed, I could take that I was alone and that's fine for sure :)
The sad part was he wasn’t with me when I needed him. This fact actually f*cked me off.