Dating Expatriates

I’m interested to write this topic after I heard a friend say something bad about my Caucasian boss. He one day met me and my boss at a mall when we’re talkin’ while drinking coffee. Then next day he said, ‘I don’t know that you’re similar to any bad Indonesian girls who would like dating white skin guys just for money.’ 
Well, I didn’t explain him at all about the man who he met at the mall. I think it’s my business to keep it secret. I don’t need to explain everyone what other kinda job I have.

What’s wrong dating white skin guys? If I’m in love with one of them, I can’t think it’s wrong. As long as he’s a normal guy and I’m still a woman, why it should be wrong in his eyes? I heard his long explanation why it's bad having a date with Caucasian guys. He – and maybe many Indonesians also – thinks when an Indonesian girl wanna date with Caucasian guys meaning just for money or sex. Say it true, but it’s not wrong at all in my eyes as long as those people are mature and they can take responsibility on what they’re doing. Not only Caucasians will trick money to tread their girls, right? Many Indonesian guys do the same. Don’t think wrong that many Indonesian guys try to attract mature Indonesian women just for sex or money. Bad men are everywhere as good men are. Mature people can do everything with their partners if their partners agree doing that way and it’s not wrong at all when it includes money inside.

Here in Indonesia we call white skin guys as expatriates or commonly using a specific name: bule. Bule means white skin people or caucasians. My boss who accompanied me at the mall is a ‘bule’. Don’t think wrong that the male friend caught us in a cabin or in a closed room. Not at all. We’re sitting on different seats in a coffee shop, drinking coffee, talking to each other, laughing before he went back to his country. He -my boss- wasn’t holding my hands or even fingers at all. He wasn’t talking nasty to me which might make the male friend thought I was dating him. He had been not giving his naughty eyes to me. Everything went to a normal way. I’d tried to turn around pretending not to see my friend but he saw me, I guess. But I know why he said that I’d had a date with my boss because my boss is an old guy in real meaning of old. He’s almost 60 years but looks older than any Indonesian guys in similar age.

I run these questions for the male friend who caught me with my boss at the mall, ‘Why can’t I date a Caucasian? Why do you think Caucasian guys are bad for me but Indonesian guys are not? Why do you think I can’t love a Caucasian so you think I’m interested only in his money?’

His answers, say those statements as an explanation because they took much time, were same with what I got from other male friend when this second guy asking my opinion about having a date with a ‘bule’. At that time, he wasn’t asking me about my experience but my opinion only after he watched an infotainment on TV broadcasting a female artist had a date with a ‘bule’. This artist had some dates with similar races before. At that time I told the guy that it’s not something special. None could force where the artist should place her love as the artist herself didn’t know where she should do. Sweet feeling would go through your heart without telling you on last month that you might be in love with someone in somewhere next month, I said. Later I left him.

Surprisingly the first male friend said hardly that only bad women would be interested with a ‘bule’ in case Mr. ‘bule’ was just a regular guy. What the f*ck he thinks he’s a special guy for any women? What the f*ck he thinks no any ‘bule’ is so special for any other women? Many bule may be good ones, much better that him and his damn selfish-closed mind!

What is A Big Difference between Asians and Caucasians?

My boss told me that he really liked having a relationship with an Indonesian woman. In his opinion, Indonesia women are cute, have exotic skin, soft in words, respect their husbands, good money controllers. If it's true, why Indonesian guys cant see that?

In my opinion, it's something normal if there are Indonesian women attracted with 'bule' without checking their pocket. It's something you are interested with an unusual-new cloth. But I'm not talking to try one cloth and another one just to check which one will be fit for your body.

(You can read more here…)

In Memoriam: My Daddy

August is a historical month for both Indonesians and Indians. The independence day of India is August 14, and on August 17, for Indonesia. But this year, it might be the saddest August for me since I received SMS which stated my daddy passed away. And the worst was I couldn’t see him for the last time of his life.  

Last month he called me telling me that he was at Jakarta airport and asked me if I possible met him. Because I was in a long monthly examination of my study, and it’s not so easy for me, I couldn’t visit him at that day. I had to manage my time. When I decided to visit him on one Saturday, my son was sick. So he forbade me to go. I of course couldn’t visit him except on Saturday evening till Monday morning. 

The latest week before he went back to India was a big busy week in my school. We’re preparing everything to take the ISO 9001:2000. I had to translate, to edit, and to print hundreds papers. It’s impossible for me to go to Jakarta. Then time was over. 

 I don’t wanna regret anything. If I couldn’t visit him, not because I didn’t care of him or he’s not important any more in my life, but I must have a reason. He’d know that. He’s a wise man, the wisest Hindu I’ve ever known. 

He one day said this: ‘If you’re doing something wrong I gonna kick your ass, not because I hate you but because of my love for you.’ 

Or this one: ‘The world may go crazy but you don’t be the one.’ 

Or this one when I argued years ago that I wanted my son being someone in my head: ‘Parents will go through the edge of a night, so they shouldn’t be selfish for their sons and daughters because those kids are going to walk to dawn.’ 

He’s the softest guy in the world who had so much love in his heart. He’s 66 years old when he’s gone. It’s enough for him to spread love over this damn world. Because I had no his body and I couldn’t attend his funeral in India I burnt all pictures I had as a Hindu should do. God promises that a good man will end in a good place. Rest in peace, my beloved daddy.

(You can read more here…)