August 20, 2008

Dating Expatriates

I’m interested to write this topic after I heard a friend say something bad about my Caucasian boss. He one day met me and my boss at a mall when we’re talkin’ while drinking coffee. Then next day he said, ‘I don’t know that you’re similar to any bad Indonesian girls who would like dating white skin guys just for money.’ 
Well, I didn’t explain him at all about the man who he met at the mall. I think it’s my business to keep it secret. I don’t need to explain everyone what other kinda job I have.

What’s wrong dating white skin guys? If I’m in love with one of them, I can’t think it’s wrong. As long as he’s a normal guy and I’m still a woman, why it should be wrong in his eyes? I heard his long explanation why it's bad having a date with Caucasian guys. He – and maybe many Indonesians also – thinks when an Indonesian girl wanna date with Caucasian guys meaning just for money or sex. Say it true, but it’s not wrong at all in my eyes as long as those people are mature and they can take responsibility on what they’re doing. Not only Caucasians will trick money to tread their girls, right? Many Indonesian guys do the same. Don’t think wrong that many Indonesian guys try to attract mature Indonesian women just for sex or money. Bad men are everywhere as good men are. Mature people can do everything with their partners if their partners agree doing that way and it’s not wrong at all when it includes money inside.

Here in Indonesia we call white skin guys as expatriates or commonly using a specific name: bule. Bule means white skin people or caucasians. My boss who accompanied me at the mall is a ‘bule’. Don’t think wrong that the male friend caught us in a cabin or in a closed room. Not at all. We’re sitting on different seats in a coffee shop, drinking coffee, talking to each other, laughing before he went back to his country. He -my boss- wasn’t holding my hands or even fingers at all. He wasn’t talking nasty to me which might make the male friend thought I was dating him. He had been not giving his naughty eyes to me. Everything went to a normal way. I’d tried to turn around pretending not to see my friend but he saw me, I guess. But I know why he said that I’d had a date with my boss because my boss is an old guy in real meaning of old. He’s almost 60 years but looks older than any Indonesian guys in similar age.

I run these questions for the male friend who caught me with my boss at the mall, ‘Why can’t I date a Caucasian? Why do you think Caucasian guys are bad for me but Indonesian guys are not? Why do you think I can’t love a Caucasian so you think I’m interested only in his money?’

His answers, say those statements as an explanation because they took much time, were same with what I got from other male friend when this second guy asking my opinion about having a date with a ‘bule’. At that time, he wasn’t asking me about my experience but my opinion only after he watched an infotainment on TV broadcasting a female artist had a date with a ‘bule’. This artist had some dates with similar races before. At that time I told the guy that it’s not something special. None could force where the artist should place her love as the artist herself didn’t know where she should do. Sweet feeling would go through your heart without telling you on last month that you might be in love with someone in somewhere next month, I said. Later I left him.

Surprisingly the first male friend said hardly that only bad women would be interested with a ‘bule’ in case Mr. ‘bule’ was just a regular guy. What the f*ck he thinks he’s a special guy for any women? What the f*ck he thinks no any ‘bule’ is so special for any other women? Many bule may be good ones, much better that him and his damn selfish-closed mind!

What is A Big Difference between Asians and Caucasians?

My boss told me that he really liked having a relationship with an Indonesian woman. In his opinion, Indonesia women are cute, have exotic skin, soft in words, respect their husbands, good money controllers. If it's true, why Indonesian guys cant see that?

In my opinion, it's something normal if there are Indonesian women attracted with 'bule' without checking their pocket. It's something you are interested with an unusual-new cloth. But I'm not talking to try one cloth and another one just to check which one will be fit for your body.

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Blogger Dean said...

an interesting article. in my opinion indonesian men in this case your male friends are being jealous with u cuz of your caucasian man. i guess your caucasian man is more handsome than those men:)
i had dated an amazing indonesian woman for months.i loved her but not ready for a marriage. she asked me to marry her, made me think i need a marriage but im an american, not interested so much with a marriage. so we broke up but loving her was amazing till now. i still can feel how she loved me. thats really different wth what i got from my ex.i had some western gf before her:)

August 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll visit indonesia nest month.would you meet me.we can discuss many things i guess.thinking you are a nice person

August 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had lived with an indonesian woman for around 2 years. seems i had same problem with the 1st opinion. why do indonesian women need a commitment? guess it's more important for them than a love

August 24, 2008  
Blogger wyd said...

in my opinion, much better to live in a commitment with a guy than just living together. women, indonesian women in this case, will feel much safer.
for me, many guys might be more perfect but i'll ask a guy only to put a ring on my finger.

for anonymous:
i'd like to meet u but it's hard sometimes to manage my time. i'm sorry abt it. anyway thank u....

August 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah Indonesian women have exotic skin that's true. and you are an Indonesian woman. u must have exotic skin also, baby :)

August 27, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a nice post. would you make a date with me, babe? danny here.

August 29, 2008  
Blogger wyd said...

thx for giving a positive comment here. cuz most posts are for teens (my students)

August 30, 2008  
Blogger Juliana Dewi Kartikawati said...

Hello Wyd. Having different ways to face life doesn't mean we can't be friend, right? Nice to read your views here. Seeing other people's point of view enriches me. Happy blogging,friend.

August 31, 2008  
Anonymous Doli Anggia Harahap said...

Bu, IMHO, it's better to let ur friends know what exactly ur job, explained to the.

Coz, if there is "fitnah" happened, then u are the first one caused the fitnah. And it is really really not good bu.

September 18, 2008  
Blogger wyd said...

if i must explain my job for all friends, they will ask more and more and i must spend much time just for telling them abt it. so... when will i work then? hehehehe

September 19, 2008  
Anonymous Doli Anggia Harahap said...


back to the nature of human being bu..
enough is never enough..

September 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi wyd.
my name is jim.
im in jakarta today for a work but know nobody at free time.
will you meet me?
hope you have a little time to meet me as a new friend.
can you give me your phone number or messenger id?
take care

November 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel lucky to be the one this wonderful woman loves

December 24, 2008  

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