General Chemistry (Part 7): Faraday's Laws

For XII level students:
The following questions apply Faraday's laws. You can try doing the questions to check how well you've been in this part. Don't forget to prepare yourselves for 3rd monthly exam. Good luck!

1. Potassium chlorate can be made of potassium chloride based on the following equation:
KCl (aq) + 3 H2O (l) → KClO3 (aq) + 3 H2 (g)
How much electric charge will be consumed to form 1 moles of potassium chlorate?
A. 2 Farad
B. 3 Farad
C. 4 Farad
D. 5 Farad
E. 6 Farad

2. Aqueous copper (II) nitrate is electrolyzed by platinum electrodes and found 12.7 grams of precipitation. What volume of a gas around anode will be produced at STP? (Ar Cu = 63.5)
A. 1.12 liters
B. 2.24 liters
C. 3.36 liters
D. 4.48 liters
E. 5.60 liters

3. Amount of electric charge could precipitate 2.7 grams of aluminum (Ar = 27) from its solution. When the same charge of electric is used for an acidic solution, how much hydrogen gas will be produced at 1 atm and 273K?
A. 2.24 liters
B. 3.36 liters
C. 4.48 liters
D. 5.60 liters
E. 6.72 liters

4. What Farad will be needed to reduce 60 grams of calcium ions to metallic substance? (Ar Ca = 40)
A. 1 Farad
B. 1.5 Farad
C. 2 Farad
D. 3 Farad
E. 4 Farad

5. Diluted silver nitrate is electrolyzed by 2 Amperes of electrolytic current for 10 minutes. What mass of silver will be precipitated on cathode? (Ar Ag = 108, 1 F = 96,500)
A. (96,500 x 20) grams
B. (96,500 x 108 x 20) grams
C. (96,500 x 108 x 200) grams
D. [(108 / 96,500) x 20] grams
E. [(108 / 96,500) x 1,200] grams

6. Equal amount of electricity is flown into two electrolytic cells. The first cell uses carbon and zinc as electrodes in aqueous zinc sulfate while the second cell uses carbon and tin as electrodes in aqueous tin (II) chloride. If found that 13 grams of zinc is precipitated in the first cell, how many grams of tin would be found? (Ar Zn = 65, Sn = 119)
A. 0.9 grams
B. 11.9 grams
C. 18.3 grams
D. 71.0 grams
E. 595 grams

7. An electric current was flown into an electrolytic cell which contains silver ions (Ar Ag = 108) and in time period it precipitates 0.54 grams of silver on cathode. If equal electric current was flown in another solution which contains M2+ (Ar M = 40), what mass of M would be precipitated on cathode?
A. 0.54 grams
B. 0.40 grams
C. 0.27 grams
D. 0.20 grams
E. 0.10 grams

8. In an electrolytic process where used the diluted sulfuric acid, produced 2.24 dm3 of hydrogen gas at STP. If equal amount of electric current is flown for aqueous silver nitrate (Ar Ag = 108), how many grams of silver will be formed on cathode?
A. 2.7 grams
B. 5.4 grams
C. 10.8 grams
D. 21.6 grams
E. 43.2 grams

(You can read more here…)

A Song for Soul

Muslims in the entire world just have been doing fasting (called shaum in Islamic term) in the Holy Month namely Ramadhan. We all hope we can reach grace of God much more after passing the Ramadhan. Two years ago, to remind me to get much closer with the God in every single breath I had, I found a wonderful video by Zain Bhikha, titled Allah Knows. Since the time, I listened and listened to the song just to remind me how lucky I’m with my life. I like Zain’s soft-melodious voice and the way he's singing. Hope you enjoy it....

Allah Knows
When you feel all alone in this world
And there's nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS
No matter what, inside or out
There's one thing of which there's no doubt
Allah knows
Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS
When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows
Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS (x2)

BRIDGE:
Every grain of sand,
In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share, He knows.
Allah knows

(You can read more here…)

General Chemistry (Part 6)

CHEMISTRY OF GROUP 2
(2nd Partnership Task)

For grade XII students, do the following questions with your partner. Each couple must answer a question. The last submission is September 10, 2010.

Hint: Answer the following questions sharply!
Group IIA: Be – Mg – Ca – Sr – Ba – Ra

1. Solubility of bases from top to down
a) Weak bases:
b) Strong bases:
Compared with bases of Group IA, what is the basic strength of group IIA? are....

2. Reactions with water
a) Be:
b) Mg:
c) Other alkaline earth metals:
d) Reaction between Mg with oxygen (burnt in the air)
Reaction 1:
Reaction 2:

3. General chemical equation between Ca/Sr/Ba with oxygen:

4. It can react with strong bases (Amphoteric)....
Formula of its acid
Formula of its base is....

5. The only one way to produce alkaline earth metals is....

6. Definition of hard water is....
a) Temporary hard water contains....
To remove temporary hard water is....
Example of the reaction of temporary hard water removal....
b) Permanent hard water contains....
The way to remove permanent hard water is....
Example of the reaction of permanent hard water removal....
The hazard of hard water is....

7. Flame color of alkaline earth metals:
Flame color of Be....
Flame color of Mg....
Flame color of Ca....
Flame color of Sr....
Flame color of Ba....
Because of their flame colors, both alkaline metals and alkaline earth metals will be used as....

8. The strength of carbonates from top to down is....
Explanation for this trend is....

9. The strength of nitrates from top to down is....
Explanation for this trend is....

10. Solubility of sulfates from top to down
Explanation for this tend in term lattice energy and enthalpy change of hydration is....

(You can read more here…)

General Chemistry (Part 5)

CHEMISTRY OF GROUP 1
(1st Partnership Task)

For all level XII students: Choose one problem and answer it by submitting your identity and answer in comment bar. The last submit is September 6, 2010. Your score will be displayed on laboratory wall paper. When a problem has been answered, you must choose another one and submit your second answer for once again. The first answer will not be checked.
Thank you!


1. Flame color of alkaline
Lithium :
Sodium :
Potassium :
Rubidium :
Cesium :


2. Which one is the highest atomic radii?
3. Which one is the largest ionization energy?
4. Which one is the strongest base?
5. Which one does not react with water? Explain your reason for this fact.
6. Write general chemical equation between alkaline with water!
7. a) State general chemical equation between alkaline with hydrogen gas
b) State a reaction between Na with excess oxygen.
What is oxidation number of O in this reaction?
c) State a reaction between Na with limited oxygen.
What is oxidation number of O in this reaction?
d) What are products produced by a reaction between K/Rb/Cs with excess oxygen?
What is oxidation number of O in this reaction?
7. Explain how to prove that alkaline metals are quite reactive!

(You can read more here…)

What Ridiculous (Teachers) They are!

Students say that some teachers in our school act stupid by blaming my kid and give harder punishment for him for a little fault as other students will get much less punishment for a same fault. Students say it’s because he’s my kid.
My kid grows being a real young man already. He considers it as something un-fair but he thinks to forget it because there are always two types of people – bad and good – even they are teachers. He says: 'I’m so proud of you, mommy, because in students’ eyes, you’re someone who will keep the rules to keep running in their correct tracks. You smile rarely but when you’re speaking, students will listen to you.'

Though my kid is a young man but he’s not an adult yet. He’s only a kid! He may be wiser than he should be in his age but his heart will be fulfilled negative thoughts for human namely teachers if many – not only one – teachers act un-fair to him. I protect him from negative thoughts by giving him good lessons in my personal life. I ensure that I can’t protect him from others people’ actions even from teachers and even they’re also my office mates.

One day after taking a hard un-fair punishment from a male teacher, he looked sad when he’s home. He then said: 'that’s why I sometimes hate this country. There are so many people do un-fair even for younger people. They’re much older but giving foolish-bad-examples for young people. I wish someday I could take you to other country, mommy. '

I got tears. Not because he’s my kid but because those words came from a kid with his good wishes for his country. I love children because they have bigger heart than many older people should have.

(You can read more here…)

What Stupid Malaysians!

It's about 1st leg of AFF grand final last night. It shows the world how un-fair Malaysia in everything for Indonesias. Honestly Indonesia wants to be the winner but we will never do an un-fair game for all reasons. We respect the committees. We respect the match. We are respectable Indonesians.

FIFA has 'proscribe' laser rays to 'participate' in a football match. In Jakarta and any other cities in Indonesia, the committees of the match will detect supporters by X-ray gate. Even people from the highest crime city in Indonesia, they will come to watch the match, not to break the match.

But what stupid Malaysian supporters at AFF match last night. Some supporters shoot Indonesian players by laser ray. We can understand then why the committees stopped the match and Indonesian players walked out. For that match, we are so proud of being Indonesians. We always proud of our country, Indonesia. We are proud of having Garuda. By the way, because Indonesia has Garuda in our heart - we so proud of it -, then they proclaimed just now - a couple years ago only - that they have harimau malaya. What stupid it was! Harimau malaya (Panthera tigris malayensis) do not belong to Malaysia. Harimau malaya belonged to more than one country, are Myanmar, Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia historically. But up till today not all Malaysians agree with this symbol. That's why if you check in reliable websites, you will not find the state symbol of Malaysia. What freak they are!

Anyway, I don't like to put something bad in my blog, but the moment at last night really hurts me.
It showed the world how stupid Malaysia!
It showed the world Malaysians will win a game by doing all ways.
Malaysia is really stupid! They spread the hate to the world. That's why we Indonesians will never accept them as our brother because they are not our brother! A real brother will never hate his brother, however.

(You can read more here…)

E-Education Festival 2010

Indonesian government declared that ten regions would hold on an E-education festival in 2010. In South Sumatera it will be held on September 23-25, 2010. From the website of South Sumatera Education Department, there are five programs are going to run in the festival, as follow:
1. Learning presentation media competition based on IT which can be participated by teachers of all subjects
2. Teacher’s blog award for teachers who manage their blogs as one way of interacting with their students in learning their subject
3. School website award for school
4. Three teachers of each school to participate in a e-education seminar
5. IT products exhibition which can be participated by school
To participate in these programs, each school or participants who recommended by principal can apply here. Don't be late, guys!

(You can read more here…)

I'm Back, Guys!

After five months leaving this blog, I'm back.
No need a perfect reason to come back here but the writing desire, the readers attention, and the school activities calling me to be here.
I know I will not have so much time to write another new post, so I may rarely check this blog but all comments are allowed to put any time.

Anyway, I'd love sharing my wonderful times as a personal, a teacher, a mommy of a young cute man, or even a woman with her feelings.

(You can read more here…)

Good Bye, All....

For healthy reason and another millions reasons, I’ve decided to stop writing for this blog. I just wanna thank to all friends and readers who have spent time to read my posts.
And please, give me apologize if any words or posts here are less sweet or even too bitter for readers or any other parties. What I’ve written are only my experiences or personal opinions without a bad purpose to hit somebody.

I don’t decide yet when I’ll be back or if I’ll be back. I just wanna close the struggling door that I’ve opened but its exit will never appear. My daddy said I was his lovely little girl. Without him, I’m not that lovely.

I feel so tired inside. Seems I need a long rest.
Bye everyone. Thanks for all.

(You can read more here…)

U’RE NOBODY

U’re foolish creature. U never do something right. U’re just an outsider for everyone. U’re nothing, u know that, dirty chicken? U need a big mirror to take a look your shadow and your face on it. U’ll know how unshaped-weak-skinny-body u have. U’ll know how moron u are. U’ll know u’re nobody. U might be the best graduated student but u’re shit in my asshole, old bitch!

Mr. X dug a huge hole in my head for more than eleven years and he got to grow my mindset as what he wanted. I didn’t dare to meet people for years. I had smile rarely for years. I got away from mirror. I hid myself in the closet for years. I just went out for a work, or with my little son. I didn’t look at people’s eyes when talking to them or walking around but just looking at my toes. I just knew I was nobody. I could be the best student at elementary until senior high school, I could be the best graduated student at my faculty, I could be one of 20 people who got the president scholarship in my country, but all were luck. Even though my IQ was 148 I was so stupid in life. I actually knew that I was nobody.

I later tried to build my self confidence. When I almost got it back, somebody else just proved me that all of Mr. X’ words are true. I know now that Mr. X is the winner. He will be always the winner and he will be the right endorse on my life. I know it now. I swear I do know it now. I can understand now why Mr. X always laughed at me. I can understand now why I always did wrong things in my past.
It’s because of the only one reason. Because… I’m nobody. I’m nothing.

(You can read more here…)

Be A Real Man

Thanks God to trust me to take care of a young man on my hands but happiness isn’t enough to take care of him. He’s my lovely son. I have a lot of dreams about him. I want him to be a real man, but cannot teach him how to be a real man as I’m not a man and no any man in my personal life since long years ago.

Without a guy by my side, I know it ain't something easy for him to get a man’s figure for a good example. Unlucky me, my male friends have different suggestion about being a real man. When I ask how a real man should treat a woman, one opinion will against another one. It confuses me.

My son says not too worry him because he can handle himself. As a mommy, I want him get the best. Son said one day: mommy, please take another guy and let him to teach me to be a real guy.
The second un-luck, my lovely guy is nowhere :)

(You can read more here…)

Thanks God, I'm Pregnant

My belly bulges. I even felt sick in the morning. I did not feel well but still tried to be cheerful. I just wanna raise positive attitudes for my baby.

There's no food are delicious. All are no taste on my tongue, although a chocolate is bitter to bite. But I do not want to give up. I'll eat good food for the growing small baby in my womb.

How proud I am exposing my stomach growing. Almost every time I hand over my stomach skin, hoping the tiny feeling of my love sweep. I want to pour as much as love I can give my baby.

My body felt so sore. A pillow was on top of my stomach. I tried rubbing, but the stomach was flat as usual. There was no pulse of a tiny. Ukh, I just had dreamt being pregnant!

(You can read more here…)

Just Wished I Could Sleep Till the Sun Burnt

I just wished I could sleep and would never wake up any more.

Have you ever felt your heart is empty though you have filled it with a number of a book’s pages?
You’re in crowded but you’re feeling so lonely. People speak but you can’t hear their voices. When you can hear them, theirs just make you sick. You rub their skin but you can’t feel their warm. When their eyes stare at you, you get freezing. When you do your spouse, you get ice covers your shaft. You try to escape but no a way out. You try to run as far as you can but your feet just step on a same hell.

I just wished I could sleep and would never wake up any more.

Have you ever checked your mail box over and over just to see if you can find an e-mail which will never been sent to you?
You browse internet and hit a number of websites but you don’t understand even a word till you realize the pages end already.
Have you ever got your brain is full as you are thinking nothing?
You wanna arrange a statement but your loaded brain makes you to stop thinking. Your eyes shed a tear when TV broadcasts a comedy. You then blame yourself why you can’t see the heroic side of superman.

What will you do after you get yourself is still being in such situation?
Smoking? Being a drunker? Having wild sex? Driving high speed? Taking a pilgrim? Screaming loudly? Yelling others?
What will you do?

I just wished I could sleep and would never wake up any more.

(You can read more here…)

A Sunk Love Will Never Break My Heart

I know a blog ain’t a good place to share personal stuffs but I sometimes use it. I don’t mind people out there whoever they are to read the posts. I know some friends do.
And now is time to put a personal stuff once again. It’s better not to do but I just wanna cool my heart down.

Here the case is. I had agreed to make a commitment with someone out there. As I know that he’s a perfect guy who I wanna be with but then I realize there's a huge problem. There’s a love included but a love is too expensive if so many things must be sacrificed. No, I’m not talking about mine but his. Should I let the one who I love to do such hard thing for a thing called a love but I further can’t promise a better fortune?

Though a true love I have for him, I shouldn’t ask too much, should I? I just wanna be logic. If I’m not included in his future why he should give me so much of his life parts? He’s decent to get a better life because he’s a good man. And because I love him so much so I can’t ask so much. I wanna shout for the entire world that I do have the love but I won’t intrude everything to be what I wanna be. It’s so hard to say but it’s true.

Just need more time to wipe off my son’s tears but everybody will never see tears drop from my dark brown eyes.

(You can read more here…)

LONELY PEOPLE IN THE INVISIBLE WORLD

I thought I’d chosen a good decision not to connect onto internet for a chat but news, browsing or e-mails. I thought I won the game. Later seemed I was just a looser who been totally home alone, stared at TV but watched nothing. As my son has been growing up without I do realize it, he asks me not to go around but he will buy everything I need while I’m ‘taking care’ home. As I have a problem with real spaces, it’s so hard to go around except for very important needs. I then realized that I knew nothing about town I’m settled in.

Months after the ‘good’ decision, I came for a chat again for someone. Today because everything is under uncontrolled, talking to friends by messenger is the only one choice. But honestly after a long night passed by, there’s something inside heart I’ll feel which I can’t explain by words. Something is like a big hole in my heart that needs to be repaired. Something is like a big hole that needs to fill up.

No wonder why TV arranges 'Take Me Out' to people who looking for their couples because this world has been narrower in its real meaning. By internet, people may talk to their friends but most are un-touched-invisible persons. Real friends around are only working mates with who people may share about work’s ways but hide personal stories. There’s a part of the heart which needs to be touched with a true feeling in a real life.

More times the one spends alone, more he traps himself to look for someone called a true friend. Years I used to be alone but never been lonely but now I’m thinking different. Older I’m softer my heart more careful my steps but the need of a true friend is sometimes still there.

(You can read more here…)

General Chemistry (Part 4): Salts Hydrolysis

1) What is definition of:
a) Salts hydrolysis
b) Partial hydrolysis
c) Total hydrolysis

2) State the type hydrolysis and the properties of the following salts and then :
a) KCl
b) MgBr2
c) SrCl2
d) AlBr3
e) FeSO4
f) Ca(CH3COO)2
g) NaCN
h) (NH4)2S
i) (NH4)2SO4

3) Explain how MgCl2 will show acidic properties when it dissolved in water.

4) Which salt will take the total hydrolysis?
A. NaCl
B. NH4CN
C. NaCN
D. CH3COONa
E. CH3COONH4

5) Which salt will have pH above 7 if dissolved in water?
A. CH3COONa
B. CH3COONH4
C. NH4CN
D. (NH4)2SO4
E. FeSO4

6) Which salt will have acidic properties?
A. NaCl
B. NH4Cl
C. CaCl2
D. BaSO4
E. Na2SO4

7) Which salt will be acidic?
A. Potassium acetate
B. Sodium acetate
C. Sodium chloride
D. Ammonium acetate
E. Ammonium chloride

8) Which salt will not be hydrolyzed?
A. KF
B. NaCN
C. NH4Cl
D. MgSO4
E. CH3COONH4

9) Which solution will produce the partial salt hydrolysis and basic if the number of mole of the reagents is equivalent?
A. HCl and NaOH
B. NH3 and CH3COOH
C. H2SO4 and NH3
D. NaOH and CH3COOH
E. HCl and NH3

10) If the reagent of the following solutions is 1 M, which solution will have the highest pH?
A. HCl dan NaOH
B. HCl dan NH3
C. CH3COOH dan NH3
D. CH3COOH dan NaOH
E. H2SO4 dan NH3

11) Which couple solution will produce the hydrolyzed salt?
A. 100 ml NH3 (aq) 0,1 M + 100 ml H2SO4 0,1 M
B. 50 ml HCN 0,1 M + 50 ml KOH 0,05 M
C. 200 ml CH3COOH 0,05 M + 200 ml Ca(OH)2 0,05 M
D. 10 ml HCl 0,1 M + 20 ml NH3 (aq) 0,05 M
E. 50 ml KOH 0,2 M + 50 ml HCN 0,1 M

12) Which salt formula will be hydrolyzed as below?
CN– (aq) + H2O (l) HCN (aq) + OH– (aq)
A. NH4CN
B. CH3CN
C. Mg(CN)2
D. NaCN
E. Fe(CN)3

(You can read more here…)

Is Indonesia Safe from Terrorists?

Beginning with the death of the florist in the terror bombing at the Marriot hotel, Ibrohim, after the firefight for seventeen hours, the search for traces’ Nurdin M. Top, a Malaysian terrorist and also the leader of Al-Qaeda in Southeast Asia, who had devastated the beautiful Indonesia, began to show a bright note. He and his cronies had spread terror, put a bomb in public spaces, especially the places visited by many foreigners, especially most Americans.

Nurdin's death in the bathroom of a house in a small village in Solo, Central Java ended up policemen’s long search for the number one terrorist. Indonesian police detachment of anti terror is called Densus 88. It’s then followed by the shooting of his accomplices. One of them is Syafruddin Zuhri, who is suspected as the second guy of their network was shot dead after a fight by throwing the pipe bombs at police.

For a very small part of Indonesians, they are heroes who intend to end the dirty work of America across the world. Indonesia is being the chosen place because the population’s majority of this country is Muslims. That way, the chaos in Indonesia would be a great homework for the interested world. Arab countries certainly very concerned about security in Indonesia to raise the image of Islam to the international world. For Western countries, America for example, Indonesia plays an important role to neutralize the world’s negative view. By a good cooperation with this country will give a positive image of Islamic countries against them. Again, the reason being this is the majority of the Muslims population of this country.

But for most Indonesians, Nurdin and his cronies are just terrorists who tarnish the Islamic face and humiliate Muslims.

My Personal View

I do hate violence, in whatever form and to anyone. Killing other people even with an acceptable reason for feeling is very difficult for me to take it as a good deed. Moreover, if the killings were perpetrated against the people who knew nothing of the matter or may even support what he was fighting for the killers. Although the reason for their version of jihad, a person who kills another person will always be called a murderer, except to kill the opponents in a war. Of course it's something different, however.

Their ideology on behalf of Islam and jihad as an excuse to kill someone else, certainly it’s very opposite of my understanding of jihad. According to the Islamic Jihad which I understand is struggling in the way of God to uphold Islam. This struggle does not mean that according to Islam are allowed to kill anyone, let alone the reasons for differences of religion and the Shari'a.

Sometimes I think, if their purpose is to kill Americans, why they did not come just to America? Would not be much more the American people can be 'sacrificed' for their 'struggle'? Would not it be immediately attract attention around the world?

To Indonesians Who Have Same Vision with Nurdin and His Accomplices

To people who have same vision with Nurdin and his cronies, why you're too cowardly to face the enemy you want the most? Do you know how Islam hates the cowards, don't you? If you asked me if they're terrorists or heroes in my eyes, I will firmly answer: they are big loser terrorists!

(You can read more here…)

I Just Graduated!

Wow, months without internet connection for fun but just for downloading hundreds journals, e-books, or any other resources, but paid cash finally! I was just graduated from petrochemical engineering master program. It’s The Indonesian President Scholarship Program. I was lucky to get one. To thank him, I put his name in the first list. In paper, I wrote this:

This paper is dedicated to the true supporters in my life:
- Mom and Dad
- Dyer Patriocta P.M.
- LJK
- My sisters, big brother and their family

I’d like to put the abstract of my thesis here. The title of my paper is CFD Modeling to Study Hydrodynamics of Fluid-Solid in Batch Scaled-Autoclave.

The earliest process of coal liquefaction is the mixing of coal, solvent, and appropriate catalyst with hydrogen in a liquefaction reactor. A few numbers of Indonesian experts have done the numbers of lab-scaled experiments of local coal liquefaction which generally used Batch scaled-autoclave reactors.

This paper aimed to study hydrodynamics of fluid-solid mixing as the earliest step of coal liquefaction. To model and to simulate the mixing has been used Fluent 6.3 software and GAMBIT of Computational Fluid Dynamics (CFD) package. This paper runs the modeling in various coal sizes and running time. This model uses 75 micrometer and 250 micrometer of coal sizes, heavy oil as the solvent and alpha-limonite as the catalyst while the running times are 0 – 60 minutes.

The simulation results show that both the size of coal feeds and the mixing time influence both coal and solvent distributions but do not influence velocity magnitude of coal and pressure drop of the mixture in perfect mixing. Since a little number of catalyst used, hydrodynamics of catalyst can not be observed, however.

Keywords: autoclave, brown coal, CFD, coal, coal liquefaction, Fluent.

(You can read more here…)

The Sweetest B-day Gift

Every one must have a birthday gift. It might come at first birthday, at teens’ birthday, or even at older times. A birthday gift could be so expensive but it might not be sold as a special gift at any stores. A sweet kiss from our parents at young age, indeed, was a very special gift which been impossible bought anywhere.

I had the sweetest birthday gift this year. And its unique part was it was sent to me at 1st as my birthday was 8th May. The sender said he might forget my special date when it came, so he needed to send it much earlier. He’s also worried me not to check my mail box at birthday (He should choose other reasons, right????).

It was sweeter because it’s recorded specially just for me :) And the words are so sweet. To appreciate what he has made for me, I’ve been using my birthday gift as SMS ringtone in my cell phone.

Why was it so special? After reading his words below, I’m sure you will agree with me that it’s very special.

‘Hello, Hon. I just want to say happy birthday. I wish I could be there and da… I do love you…. Love you. Happy birthday!’

PS: I published this post after D-Day for a reason that I can’t take too much birthday gifts (hahahahahaha….)

(You can read more here…)

My Teenager

I got permission from my son to write about him and also to publish it here. He’s a teen, however. Being a mommy for teens isn’t something easy especially when you’re alone to take care of them. Lucky me (or unlucky?), I just have one with me. At least I just need to separate my attention for less fields, are him, works, household, and the last one is me myself.

He grew up so fast. But I still remember when I picked him to his playgroup’s class. I can remember how I couldn’t know him when we met in the street while I was thinking how poor a mom who had that kid. Though I served his uniform so clean, but then he played ‘soccer’ with his friends at school and he was back to home as a soccer player plus spotted brown everywhere on his uniform. If he didn’t call me, I would pass him over.


His name is Dyer. He’s 15 years old now. Sometimes this young man surprises me. He looks like a mature guy in words. But all I know from his statements is he loves me much.

A couple days ago he told me that some of his male friends talked to him about me and our relationship. It’s about how close we’re.
‘You may mind if I get close with your mommy but I do that with my own mommy. Why should you mind?’ he argued them.
He said that he would kiss me and he didn’t care if his male friends were around. I said it would be okay for me if he couldn’t give me a soft kiss on my cheeks in front of his friends, but he told me that he’s fine with it. Of course I like having his little kiss on my cheeks or lips :)

Last two weeks, I bought him an electric bass after a long month he persuaded me. As I know he loves music so much and he can play some instruments by learning them by himself, and he just has an old-dissatisfied guitar, so it’s a good time to praise him. I could see how bright his eyes, how nice his smile to show how happy his heart inside when he sufficiently had the electric bass.

Nobody has learnt how to be a good parent, nor me. I may not a perfect mommy for my son. But all that I do for him are ones we think good things or even the best for him. They might be not seen too well for him at that time but for his future. I love my teenager and pray for his best life.

If you’re parents of a teen or teens, you can understand how much this love. If you’re a son or a daughter, you will know how much your parents love you.

(You can read more here…)

Indonesian Language (Part 2): The Arrangement

1) The arrangement of Indonesian language

There's a little difference between English and Indonesian language arrangements.

For examples:
Pretty = cantik
Girl = gadis
Pretty girl = gadis cantik (not ‘cantik gadis’)

Dream = mimpi
Buruk = bad
Bad dream = mimpi buruk (not ‘buruk mimpi’)



2) Singular and plural

To change singular words into plural ones we just need to repeat the word. But singular and plural words sometimes have same words, no need to add other letters.

A woman = wanita, seorang wanita
The women = wanita-wanita
A cat = kucing, seekor kucing
The cats = kucing-kucing
A boat = kapal
Boats = kapal-kapal

She has one handbag = dia punya satu tas tangan
She has some handbags = dia punya beberapa tas tangan
Handbag = tas tangan

Attention:
Kupu-kupu = butterfly, butterflies (not ‘kupu’ = butterfly and ‘kupu-kupu’ = butterflies)
Kura-kura = turtle, turtles (not 'kura' = turtle or 'kura-kura' = turtles)

1) Same words or statements but different meanings
Be careful when use Indonesian language because there are so many words or statements will have same spelling or even letters but the meanings are actually different, indeed.

a) Saya sakit hati = My heart hurts/I have liver attack
Hati = liver, heart
Saya = I, mine, my
Sakit = sick, ill

As Indonesian language will double a word to mention plural, we can't say 'some livers' as 'hati-hati' because ‘hati-hati’ means ‘be careful’ or ‘take care’.

b) Tahu itu? = do you know that?/is that the tahu, isn’t it?
Tahu = know, a name of kinda traditional Indonesian/Chinese food
(The second question using when a person is asking you if it’s a certain food u mean or want for).

2) Similar words
Say ‘kepala saya pusing’ to make your friend knows what kinda sick you’re having, but don’t say ‘ kelapa saya pusing’.
Kepala = head, boss
Kelapa = coconut

Some Indonesian words honestly have made me confused to distinguish them because all letters are same, they look same in way of writing (just different one place of letter each other) and when we spell them fast, seems we're hearing same words.

Be careful when people say ‘besok’ (besok = tomorrow).
A western was waiting for his Indonesian friend because the Indonesian man had promised him to see him tomorrow. The Indonesian said ‘sampai ketemu besok.’ (see you tomorrow). He didn’t mean he would meet him tomorrow but he might express next week, next year, some time or if they might meet each other some other day.

(You can read more here…)

It F**ked Me Off!

I laugh at people who suggesting me that I should be with someone at home. A good friend told me that she worried me when she thought of me as I was always alone and she also suggested me to find someone to be my companion. I once again laughed at her. I said that I was okay being alone because I never felt lonely or even needed someone just for sharing. I explained her that I had a couple of friends out there who would like sharing with me when I needed people to share with. I said that I had someone out there. Just because he’s so far away making him couldn’t be with me at happy or even sad times.

But yesterday I had a spent little time thinking that I needed a companion. While I was getting a horrible 'maag' (a kinda horrible stomachache) and I couldn’t get up even for one inch, I got tears. The tears ain’t for the horrible sickness but for a hate of being alone. I just lied on floor when it was immediately attacking me. I could stand on my hands to take the pills but the problem was I couldn’t stand on my feet or even my knees. I needed someone to help me to take my pills in the cupboard. The worst was I had no someone else but me myself! Oh yeah, I had someone who was singing for giving me a good companion but he couldn’t give me a favor at all. He just sang on my laptop’s screen as I smiled thinking I had him at that time. Oh, my favorite singer!

I then sent two texts for someone out there. It was delivered but no a reply. I sent the second texts and I just got sucked. He might not get my texts or he didn’t have minutes to reply me. I did not know. I then forwarded some other texts to some other friends and two texts for my good friend. One text was sent to my mom –the way I didn’t use to do when I got a problem or even a sickness – got replied so fast but I was sad receiving it. She told me that I should lick some honey from my fingers but she knew that I forgot doing that treatment. And she got mad then. She and another friend called me three times but I didn’t pick them up because I had been standing on horrible stomachache.

Other reliefs from friends which raised me up were:
'Still get it?' (funny...! I received this text when I was at the most terrible time!)
'You’re not alone, honey, you have son and me.'
'Maag? What is that? Yes I know how much hard 2b live alone I wish to give you company.'
For the last reply, I knew that he was confused what 'maag' meant hehehehe... it's Indonesian version. I got laughed so loud.
After all passed, I could take that I was alone and that's fine for sure :)
The sad part was he wasn’t with me when I needed him. This fact actually f*cked me off.

(You can read more here…)

This Blog Has Been Blocked at School Area!

My students nowadays can't browse this blog anymore using school's net connection because it's blocked at school area. The last post which they may read is an article posted on October 16, 2008 title 'What S*ck!' When a student helped me to check the blocker, it's the server of our school and no reason been explained over there. It just wrote: htt://blogwyd.blogspot is blocked and you are not allowed to visit the website. But if visitors use the third party, such as Google or Yahoo search, they can still read all posts. I mean people can search the newest posts if they type the title of the posts or keywords but how they can do that as they don't know what kinda article I've posted! When I tried to google the title, it worked, but it would go nowhere except the un-banned posts when I clicked the forehead of the blog.

Why Is It Blocked?

I can't believe it if one or more students flagged this blog or even reported it as a spam. They liked to read it because I posted all articles using simple English and that way they used to learn English. And for all international students, how they can answer the problems I put over there if they can't check it at school area? I sometimes use my blog to put some questions and ask students to answer when they have time but the questions aren't their homework or even their task. It's the way to let students explore internet plus get something useful, in my opinion.

I sufficiently can't believe it if the reason to block this blog is because of some naughty words here. Yes, I used some naughty or even bad words here, such as f*ck, God d*mn it, s*ck, p*rn, *ss, etc. but all had good relations with whole articles. No any case where I use such bad words just to let others, readers in this case, get negative pleasure. Not at all! Never!

Being a blogger is one of my ways to explode my mind or I gonna get stress because of too much work pressure. And this blog is the only one English blog which school management can report to the central team of RSBI as the net connection between teachers and students of international program. And the school then got A score in the final report.

For whoever has done such bad way, I do need to remind him/her or even they're more than one person, please check all articles here and don't let your own ears to hear what you yourselves can't understand. Just read all what I've posted and you'll know that I've written the facts of our school and nobody will say I've put a lie even a word over there. All are the facts. Almost all words had been explained by me myself in school's meetings as I didn't use to just say something bad behind people's face.

Play a fair game with me, please!

(You can read more here…)

Am I Too Bad?

These all were what I said and asked in a teachers’ meeting of our school management. The background was our principal’s commitment. Almost all teachers and students said that he didn’t have a good commitment to run management of our school. As I wrote in ‘Does He Hide Something?’, he had left some good programs of our school which had been our icons since the school built, and it affected most of us.

Soon the meeting was being ‘hot’ in the real meaning of hot. We felt that we’re sitting on the fire. He acted as he didn’t know something and kept running his long explanation but it really explained nothing. Soon later the meeting began a war field where the principal wanted international teachers (five teachers) would be paid as much as regular teachers but he asked the five teachers to do three-four times harder of job than other regular teachers for the school’s sake. But students of the international classes have to pay double tuition because they’re studying in international classes. Everyone knows that an international class isn’t cheap to run on! He reported for the monitoring team that the international students had to pay much because the spent money was used for paying international teachers as the teachers had been paid double than regular ones. It’s not fair at all, of course! I and four other teachers who teach Cambridge curriculum for international classes were thinking that we’re throwing into a hot fire. But I think the principal won’t know what others want from him if nobody will explain it all to him. So I did!

"Thanks for giving me a chance.
As you and all have known about me so well, I won’t blame you behind but I’ll tell you my thoughts and even it’s a bitter one to say I’ll say. Since I took my seat and heard what you said, I think there’s no any explanation from you, though you had spoken too long and too much but you didn’t answer one question yet. So I think I need to use the straight words to make you clear and I hope that I and we all here will get a good answer from you later. We do need an explanation to answer parents' questions about our programs.

You always used international class to ask parents of international students pay more. You presented how good international teachers we had in this school and for that reason, parents didn’t mind to double tuition of their kids. And you always said to their parents that the school doubled salary of international teachers. I had discussed with other four teachers and as I’m a home teacher of XI grade of the international class I’ll run the following statements and questions and they’re our statements and questions, not mine.

We five don’t mind not to be paid double or if the school has no enough money to pay us, we’d love being volunteers for the students and this country. But the school and you as the top leader of the school asked parents to pay more than any parents of regular students. And the problem then is you explained parents why they had to pay more. The only reason is because this school has to pay more international teachers. We five don’t mind not to be paid more if students don’t pay more. We five don’t mind you pay us as much as other regular teachers but you don’t ask our international students to pay more than regular students. If they pay more we get more. If they pay more but you pay us as much as other regular teachers, you can’t ask five of us to give more than others. We will give what others give for the school if you value us in salary as much as others in the case the international students have to pay more.

And I wanna tell you all about another one. Students said that I’m a very good mask for you because I’m always ready to fight for you when students try to take you down. But now I have a big question for myself if I have done a right way for students and their parents? Do I have to think once again if the one I’m ready to fight for is a real good one to fight for? Because if we try to be honest for ourselves, we will see that we had run this school by a wrong way. Why do I say so? Because so many good programs are in memoriam today!

Didn’t you ever hear when you’re going around that people out there said many bad things about our school? We’re running an excellent school in this province, we’re running a prestigious school for people in South Sumatera, we’re running one of the best national school in this country, but what we have today? Will we let this excellent school just to be a good memory of people’s mind?

I have a good statement taken from my daddy’s word and I’ll share it for you all here as I’ve kept the word to take my life way. Hope it will be also a good one for you all. My daddy said that if you do something wrong, I'm gonna kick your ass not because I hate you but because of my love for you.
And you know, Sir, it’s what I’m doing for you now in this meeting.

I sufficiently know that my words weren’t nice enough to be listened to, but I hope your main tree is same with mine and you can understand why I do this all for you. Thank you."

I needed more than 10 minutes to blow the all words out of my head. When I was saying those all, everybody said nothing and just listened to me. Almost all teachers then said that I told the audience what they wanna say but they couldn’t say those all because they didn’t know how to say, they didn’t know which words they should choose.

Can you suggest me something why the principal still couldn’t give us the answer after I explained him and audience by those all blunt words? Is he too slow-witted to understand?

(You can read more here…)

Happy New Year!

Wish you all happy new year!
What's your good plan to fill full this new year?
I have some, at least three here.

I wish I could finish my master program in perfect time with good score. Seems I'm tired enough with the program and it's really hard to spend such time.

I wish I would be a good mommy for my kids, especially my own son. I think I'm sometimes unfair for him as I wanna see he can take what I could in my young age. But we both actually are different persons. Wish i could be with him as long as possible.

I wish I could meet someone in his place. Wish it's not just a short visit but a real long term relationship. I know -as I wrote in What A Surprise, it's for him- it's not something easy to have a real life with him because of our faith. But once he's ready for everything I will.

(You can read more here…)

What A Surprise!

Yeah, it surprised me much. He phoned me at one night just to say that he loved me. It shouldn’t surprise me too much because the love words are common words to tell how someone loves his/her partner. But he never said it using that way. I mean we might talk to each other by phones but it’s just a talk. He might say ‘I love you’ to end conversation up. Though I know his feeling well as he knows mine, there’s no reason to phone me just to say that feeling because I’m talking about the cost. If one of us phones another one, it will cost high spend. I took the risk for that high cost as it would ask him much more than if I did it. Americans used to be asked a charge for anything as Indonesian people used to take any free charge for any fields :)

I don’t know what reasons of my son to leave this country as he before ignored to take that way. I’m ready for everything but time ain't convenience for us today. If it will be a true moment, the firsts I must prepare are my son to be ready living around new people and list all nice things of our daily life here which we should forget. My parents taught us to love all lands of God. Every land belongs to Allah, and He will take care of us if we rely on Him in anything, anywhere and anytime.

But some friends have been acting unfair for this relationship. They reminded me to think millions before coming to him. The first important thing for the new life is about faith. I believe God will touch his heart if he’s really my true life-partner. I just know that I do love him and I trust him in any ways he has been struggling for us.

I today will have nice smiles if I think of him and his promises. I’m not even a good dreamer but I do don’t mind to dream about our new happy life.

(You can read more here…)

Does He Hide Something?!

I’m hopeless in any program of my school. It’s not because I’ve been changing to run my work but the only one reason is because the principal can’t work as a good leader for us all. It’s not just what I’m thinking about but it’s the fact which has been happening at our school. Say that I’m a workaholic and not all people can take what I can take. But here at our school there are many programs which leave us behind and we just have a nice memory about them all. We didn’t teach on Saturday since we had an art and sport Saturday where students might balance their right-left brain. We had subjects’ clinic where low students could ask and study more out of their subject’s times. We had scheduled times for Olympiad teams, around chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology, information and technology, and social science. We would gather to read Quran before we start studying at morning. But they all are in memoriam nowadays.

I don’t care how much money the principal will take from our school as long as he still runs old good programs. But I can see no good programs still run on nowadays and the international program has been stuck. I and three-four other teachers asked him at our last meeting we had about all programs. I personally asked him by soft, polite and even rude words but we all just got big nothing. I asked him if he had been hiding something from us. I asked him if I still could proud of him as I did before. I asked him what we should answer when students or even their parents asked us all about their program but he had just played a game with us all and answered no questions. He just gave us his big smile while saying I was a good teacher who had fight for him for the sake of school. Almost all teachers gave up then and I was so hopeless with his commitment doing the best for school.

I’m asking me myself what he has been doing. Does he lie to us? What has he been hiding actually? Has he handful so much money from school for himself and that’s why he couldn’t pay teachers to run those programs? How could he write a bad report as his background is an economic field? How could he write certain number of the expensed money for a program on Wednesday report but used other different number for same case on Friday report but they all were reporting as a same annual report?

I won’t let anybody to throw shit at my students’ face for any reasons. I won’t regret to face such bad people who lie to my students as I teach them to be honest. I don’t care who he is even he’s the Indonesian president, if he lies to my students and throw shit at their face, I do don’t mind to fight with. I’m not a nice volunteer for everything but I do love my students and I will protect them from taking such bad things at school.

God knows what he has been doing and He will give what he should get.

(You can read more here…)

Love You, Axl!

I had been sad for weeks. But not today! Because of a perfect reason. Just because of the most perfect guy in this planet.
No one else but Axl! It’s because his kindness to release his new album, Chinese Democracy.
Oh God, I was almost crazy for about fourteen years to see it.

After spending worried years with his long arguments not to realease the album, after thinking he would never did it, he broke up all worries and gave a bitter smile on lips of Guns and Roses' haters.

After spending worried years, because of a love for fanatic fans, haters, old and new big fans, and everybody in the world, Axl is kind enough to share his great album. He knows there are so many big fans who still want him to sing and wanna rock this world with him to be a 'better' place. He proved that Axl . never gone. He proved to the world that Guns and Roses is still a top gun! Thanks for Chinese Democracy! The world doesn’t need to wait China will be a democracy country or you’ve been woking Chineses up to proclaim their democracy.

Rock forever for live and mankind! I could be a 'rocket queen' in this d*mned world with a rocked love inside.... Love Axl!

(You can read more here…)

What S*ck!

This post is for everyone who may try to contact me. This post is also for all friends, my bosses, my clients, and everyone who comes over here. I may be not here for long time after writing this post. I don't know when I may come back here.

Many people say I'm a strong woman. But they are really wrong!
Just thinking life isn't really fair for me. I hate crying but I'm doing....

(You can read more here…)

Are u in Love?

Ten signals to measure if you may be in love....

1) You miss someone but you actually have no any reasons to miss him/her.
2) You wanna meet someone but you just have left him/her less than 15 minutes ago.
3) You wanna hear his/her voice but you actually just talked to him/her less than 15 minutes ago.
4) He/she is so amazing in your eyes but others say his/her score is just about standard score or lower.
5) You are always thinking that his/her words are nice even when he/she is getting angry with people.
6) You are always thinking that he/she acts something cool even he/she looks like a bad clown for others.
7) He/she looks down on the one but you think he's doing the best way.
8) He/she just has standard figure but you think he/she is sexy.
9) You will feel sexy when you're with him/her.
10) You wanna spend more time with him/her and hope the time will never end.

So... are you in love now?
If you answer yes, it's time for you to tell him/her what is your true feeling.
If you answer no, dont worry... many good men/women out there who are waiting for your love. Find one (at least. huh?! ) for you!

(You can read more here…)

Indonesian Language (Part 1): How to Spell?

Bahasa Indonesia or Indonesian language unites the over 250 millions people with more than 400 kinda regional dialects or even distinct languages. Learning Indonesian language ain’t something hard. Here I’ll introduce you to Indonesian language and how to spell words using general audience. There are some key points which will be so easy to learn.


1) Each letter has special sound and it won’t be same with others. I’ll write how to spell each letter and you may compare it when you spell certain words in English.
For example:
A = cut, nut, month.
It means we can spell ‘A’ as we spell ‘u’ for ‘cut’ or ‘nut’ or ‘o’ in ‘month’.
I = ink, hint, bee, etc.
U = foot, soon, moon, etc.
E = check, send, earth, etc.
O = joy, toy, obey, etc.

The following consonants are important consonants which may distinguish them with English version as the rest are same.
C = chuck, child, chart, etc. (don’t spell ‘C’ as we spell ‘C’ in cute, case, cell, certain, etc.).
G = grant, good, game, etc. (don’t ever spell ‘G’ as we spell ‘G’ in giant, gee, gentle, etc.).
K = key, kidney, kidding, etc.
R = rare, rule, ring, etc. (use a harder tension for ‘R’ in Indonesian than English).

The all rules will realize all words in Indonesian language.

2) A word generally needs a vocal between two consonants. We’ll find rarely a word has three or more consonants or a word consists of one tension as we easily find them in English, such as words above (cut, nut, month, ink, etc.). Words in Indonesian language needs two tensions, at least.
For examples:
Meja (me-ja) = table
Kaki (ka-ki) = foot
Gigi (gi-gi) = tooth
Duduk (du-duk) = sit
Sakit (sa-kit) = pain, sick
Bahaya (ba-ha-ya) = dangerous
Menjahit (men-ja-hit) = sew
Kelakuan (ke-la-ku-an) = behavior, attitude

Have fun with Indonesian language!

(You can read more here…)

General Chemistry (Part 3): Thermochemistry

For all students of XI grade, read the following questions carefully, choose one question, give your answer here but once the question has been answered, right or wrong, you can not answer it. Just write a final answer, you don't need to write stepwise. For the last five answers, you may change your answer twice, if the first answer is false.

1) What is thermochemistry exactly?

2) Why do we learn thermochemistry?

3) Give 2 examples of thermochemistry applications in daily life.

4) State a thermochemical equation if ammonium chromate (solid) formation releases 1806.7 kJ/mole of energy.

5) 130 grams acetylene (C2H2) can raise 20 liters of water from 200C to 1000C. Calculate enthalpy change of water and state its thermochemical equation if known density of water = 1 gr/ml and heat capacity of water = 1 J/gr.0C.

6) Known the enthalpy change of ethylene and ethane formations in the manner are 51,8 kJ and 64,4 kJ, what heat will be released by ethylene produces ethane?

7) By using bond energy data in your text book, calculate how much heat will be included to react ethylene and chlorine form ethyl chloride and chloric acid? Please write the bond energy of each substance.

8) Known the following thermochemical equations:
XO2 + CO -® XO + CO2 DH = - 20 kJ
X3O4 + CO -® 3 XO + CO2 DH = + 6 kJ
3 X2O3 + CO -® 2 X3O4 + CO2 DH = - 12 kJ
Calculate the enthalpy change for the following equation:
2 XO2 + CO -® X2O3 + CO2

9) Explain latent heat and sensible heat.

10) What is 1 Btu (British Thermal Unit)? Calculate the number of joules in 1 Btu of heat.

11) What does Hess' Law state and give one example to explain your answer (you may use an example from daily life or even everywhere).


12) The natural gas in methane reacts with oxygen to give carbon dioxide and water. Calculate the heat given off when 0.010 mole of methane reacts with excess oxygen in a bomb calorimeter if the temperature of 1.00 kilogram of water in the bath surrounding the bomb increases by 1.918 0C.

13) How do we measure the enthalpy of a reaction? Explain your answer sharply.

14) What are differences between an exothermic reaction and an endothermic reaction?

15) If a reaction can not go spontaneously what you will do? Explain your answer by giving an example of each way.

16) Predict which of the following substances should have an enthalpy of formation equal to zero:
(a) Hg (l)
(b) Br2 (g)
(c) H (g)
Give your reason.

17) What value of heat will be included in the following blank enthalpy change?



















18) How much heat is given off when 1 mole of nitrogen reacts with 2 moles of oxygen to give 2 moles of nitrogen oxide gas, if for the given balanced reaction is 33.2 kJ/mole of nitrogen oxide?

19) Explain why there is only one value for the standard enthalpy of reaction for a chemical reaction whereas there can be many different values for the enthalpy of reaction.

20) Use the standard enthalpies of formation in your text book to determine whether heat is given off or absorbed when limestone (calcium carbonate) is converted to lime (calcium oxide) and carbon dioxide. Write the heat value included.

21) Use bond dissociation enthalpies to estimate the enthalpy of reaction for the combustion of carbon sulfide in the phase gas to produce carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide.

22) Calculate the standard enthalpy change for magnesium in the solid phase reacts with fluorine in the gas phase to create magnesium fluoride in the solid phase, assuming that 1.00 gram of magnesium gives off 46.22 kJ of heat when it reacts with excess fluorine.

(You can read more here…)

Dating Expatriates

I’m interested to write this topic after I heard a friend say something bad about my Caucasian boss. He one day met me and my boss at a mall when we’re talkin’ while drinking coffee. Then next day he said, ‘I don’t know that you’re like any bad Indonesian girls who would like dating white skin guys just for money.’ Well, I didn’t explain him at all about the man who he met at the mall. I think it’s my business to keep it secret. I don’t need to explain everyone what other kinda job I have.

What’s wrong dating white skin guys? If I’m in love with one of them, I can’t think it’s wrong. As long as he’s a normal guy and I’m still a woman, why it should be wrong in his eyes? I heard his long explanation why bad having a date with Caucasian guys. He – and maybe many Indonesians also – thinks when an Indonesian girl wanna date with Caucasian guys meaning just for money or sex. Say it true, but it’s not wrong at all in my eyes as long as those people are mature and they can take responsibility on what they’re doing. Not just Caucasians will use money to tread their girls, rite? Many Indonesian guys do same. And don’t think wrong that many Indonesian guys try to attract mature Indonesian women just for sex or money. Mature people can do everything with their partners if their partners agree doing that way and it’s not wrong at all when it includes money inside.

Here in Indonesia we call white skin guys as expatriates or commonly using a specific name: bule. Bule means white skin people such as white skin people from America, Netherland, Germany, and so on. And my boss who accompanied me at the mall is a ‘bule’. Don’t think wrong that the male friend caught us in a cabin or in a closed room, not at all, as we’re sitting on different seats in a coffee shop, drinking coffee, talking to each other, laughing before he went back to his country. He –my boss- wasn’t holding my hands or even fingers at all. He wasn’t talking nasty to me which might make the male friend thought I was dating with my boss. He wasn’t using his eyes naughty to me. Everything went to a normal way. I’d tried to turn around pretending not to see my friend but he saw me, I guess. But I know why he said that I’d had a date with my boss because my boss is an old guy in real meaning of old. He’s almost 60 years but looks older than any Indonesian guys in similar age.

I run these questions for the male friend who caught me with my boss at the mall, ‘Why can’t I date a Caucasian? Why do you think Caucasian guys are bad for me but Indonesian guys are not? Why do you think I can’t love a Caucasian so you think I’m just interested with his money?’

His answers, say those statements as an explanation because it’s so long, were same with what I got from other male friend when this second guy asking my opinion about having a date with a ‘bule’. At that time, he wasn’t asking me about my experience but my opinion only after he watched an infotainment on TV broadcasting a female artist had a date with a ‘bule’. This artist had some dates with similar races before. At that time I told the guy that it’s not something special. None could force where the artist should place her love as the artist herself didn’t know where she should do. Sweet feeling would go through your heart without telling you on last month that you might be in love with someone in somewhere next month, I said. Later I left him.

Surprisingly the first male friend said hardly that only bad women would be interested with a ‘bule’ in case Mr. ‘bule’ was just a regular guy. What the f*ck he thinks he’s a special guy for any women? What the f*ck he thinks no any ‘bule’ is so special for any other women? Many bule may be good ones, much better that him and his damn selfish-closed mind!

What is A Big Difference between Asians and Caucasians?

My boss told me that he really liked having a relationship with an Indonesian woman. In his opinion, Indonesia women are cute, have exotic skin, soft in words, respect their husbands, good money controllers. If it's true, why Indonesian guys cant see that?

In my opinion, it's something normal if there are Indonesian women attracted with 'bule' without checking their pocket. It's something you are interested with an unusual-new cloth. But I'm not talking to try one cloth and another one just to check which one will be fit for your body.

(You can read more here…)

In Memoriam: My Daddy

August is a historical month for both Indonesians and Indians. The independence day of India is August 14, and on August 17, for Indonesia. But this year, it might be the saddest August for me since I received SMS which stated my daddy passed away. And the worst was I couldn’t see him for the last time of his life.

Last month he called me telling me that he was at airport, in Jakarta and asked me if I possible met him. Because I was in a long monthly examination of my study, and it’s not so easy for me, I couldn’t visit him at that day. I had to manage my time. When I decided to visit him on one Saturday, my son was sick. So he forbade me to go. I of course couldn’t visit him except on Saturday evening till Monday morning. And the last week before he went back to India, was a big busy week in my school. We’re preparing everything to take the ISO 9001:2000. I had to translate, to edit, and to print hundreds papers. It’s impossible for me to go to Jakarta. Then time was over.

I don’t wanna regret anything. If I couldn’t visit him, not because I didn’t care of him or he’s not important any more in my life, but I must have a reason. He’d know that. He’s a wise man, the wisest Hindu I’ve ever known. He one day said this: ‘If you’re doing something wrong I gonna kick your ass, not because I hate you but because of my love for you.’ Or this one: ‘The world may go crazy but you don’t be the one.’ Or this one when I argued years ago that I wanted my son being someone in my head: ‘Parents will go through the edge of a night, so they shouldn’t be selfish for their sons and daughters because those kids are going to walk to dawn.’

He’s the softest guy in the world who had so much love in his heart. He’s 66 years old when he’s gone. It’s enough for him to spread love over this d*mn world. Because I had no his body and I couldn’t attend his funeral in India I burnt all pictures I had as a Hindu should do.

God promises that a good man will end in a good place.

Rest in peace, my beloved daddy.

(You can read more here…)

A Highlighter

I was sitting on my chair as I saw a highlighter on my desk. I just bought it a week ago just because someone asked me to buy it. I didn’t know what I might do with that highlighter but put it on my desk. At that time I saw the highlighter, got smile thinking what I talked to the one who asked me to buy it.

I browsed files on my laptop and found some pictures out over there. I blow one up, my favorite picture which someone had sent me. A kind face was on my laptop screen. I didn’t know what to do except looked at the picture. I imagined something nice about the one on the picture. The one who has told me to have a dream, has given me many sweet dreams in my head, has sent me so many roses after I said I loved roses, has whispered sweet words, was on the screen.

I hold the highlighter and tried to do what he had suggested me weeks ago. I know it’s the only one way to have him with me when he’s not around. I smiled. He might be true. He never seen someone do something with a highlighter but he wanted me have it when he was just sitting on his chair and thinking of me. I then wrote my feelings and this post was the result.

Oh God, if I could fly over there and replied what he had done for me, I would do for sure and I didn’t need to wait longer time. I just relaxed as the old Guns n Roses sang ‘Breakdown’… remember in this game we call life… that no one said it’s fair….

(You can read more here…)

How Should We Face A Terror?

Sometimes we can’t predict with whom we’re having a relationship. Sometimes we think people with whom we’re shaking hands are good people but they’re not in fact. Here I’m not telling you the best way how to face a terror. I just wanna tell you what I did when I had one.

It occurred since 3 days ago. First I thought I need to tell someone about it but his mobile engaged when I called him. Then I told a little part to my big sister and mum, just to remind them all if something bad happened to me. They live in other places of other island. I live here without any relatives but my son. But he stays at dormitory and just back home on Saturday afternoon and back to dormitory again on Sunday evening.

Some people who know about this case say that I’m facing psychos. In my eyes, they have no love inside to feel mankind. Whatever they are in real, I’m then so scared to walk around without covering my face. I need to drive speed just because I’m afraid they may stop me in the street and do something bad. I’m being a phobia in opened areas if I don’t know people surround me. I lock doors and windows one second after I get home. Then use additional keys for doors even I’m at home. It’s something like I’m caging me myself alone at home.

Then I thought it’s not funny to cage myself in my own home just because some people out side were terrorizing and trying to hurt me. But when I read their short messages via mobile phone, I knew they would do anything to terrorize me. My big sister reminded me to be much more careful, to scream and to ask favor from other people when they tried to do something bad to me. She knows that I’m not easy to tell my problems or ask favor from others. But in this case, I’ll scream for sure when it’s needed.

Tips
1)Tell some trusted people about your big problem
They can be witnesses when the psycho goes crazy. I, in my case, told my big sister and mum. I couldn’t tell details but at least they knew.

2)Talk to people about something else
I called some people one by one and then asked some others to call me back.
I didn’t care how much I should pay the charge. I just need to feel safe. Talk to people when you’re scared sometimes can help you a little. You may not need to tell your problem, just need to talk, talk, and talk about all things except your big problem.

3)Be with friends
Don’t let you are alone especially in an opened area. Bad people may do something crazy to you by the third party. When you need to meet those people at certain place, just go there with your friends and meet them in a crowded-opened area.

4)Write your feeling
When you must face bad people, you should write down your big problem because it also can be a proof for others.

5)God will save you
Don’t be ashamed being scared because we’re just human being but keep in your heart that God will always save you. He will take care who believe in Him.

Good luck! God bless you….

(You can read more here…)

When A Guy Can’t Respect Women

It’s about a guy with whom I was talking yesterday. I had so many bad experiences with him and knew how bad he was. I’m not sure he can be a good guy though he has passed years of his life. I thought for years that he had put some sh*t in his brain. And I proved what I thought of him yesterday.

As I don’t like thinking bad about others and I won’t think one part of him but he contacted me, again, yesterday. I knew for sure when he did it meaning he needed something from me. And I once again proved it. But as he cant respect a woman, and I’m a woman, what I should do for him? Just let my mobile off and it means I cant receive any SMS or calls from other people? Just let he send me SMS but I shouldn’t reply? Just let it ring but I shouldn’t pick it up?

But even via SMS, he tried to hurt me. Did I get hurt? Oh, come on, I’m a strong woman as every single person says about me. So what the problem is then? Nothing. Just wanna write what I had yesterday. Just wanna tell every single person out there that a woman can be stronger, much stronger, than a guy. Just wanna tell women out there that they shouldn’t cry, get angry, or think bad about themselves when guys around them tell something bad about them. Because there are so many bad guys out side who cant respect a woman even by words. Because there are so many stupid guys out side who will try to hurt women for fun. What? For fun? Oh yes, for sure I can say that there are so many bad guys out side who will say so and may act stupid and they think it’s fun, at least for themselves as they cant respect women or even themselves. That’s true!

In my opinion when a f*cking guy cant respect a woman, it means he cant respect his himself and it also means his heart is blind to see how he may have a happy life if he can do a better way.

The guy with whom I was talking yesterday, he made me think of another one. The last guy, with whom I have shared many things and stories, has given me the best view of life which I’ve ever got. And the last guy who I’m talking about, has sent me hundreds beautiful roses which I’ll share some with you all over here.

(You can read more here…)

Why Do U Smoke?

I asked some people to know why they smoked. Smoking here means smoking of cigarettes only not drugs. I asked what their reasons to smoke and their opinion about getting healthy. Here are their opinions....

1) My father was a smoker so I’m.
2) None in my family is a smoker so I wanna be the first.
3) My grandma smoked but she’s good in health. So I had no a perfect reason not to smoke.
4) It’s just about being a smoker. So what?
5) It accompanies me to spend time. What can I do then if I don’t smoke?
6) Just because I need to forget something. I need to leave this fu*king world but not getting die till now. I’m afraid of God’s punishment so I need something to be with me just to forget I maybe in the fu*king hell someday.
7) Being a smoker isn’t too bad, rite?
8) My gal next-door died without any poison of cigarettes inside her blood. Death will come to you even you’re not a smoker. So, I’m not afraid of being a smoker.
9) Many people around the world get smoke, I’m just one of them. That’s no matter for me or for everyone.
10) Cancer may come to you or me even you don’t smoke, rite?
11) When I need to force my head to think hard, I need a cigarette.
12) My friends smoke, my father smokes, my mother smokes, my little sister and brothers smoke. Are you surprised why I smoke then?
13) One day I had a trip to go to somewhere. I saw a nice young girl was smoking. I saw how she enjoyed her cigarette. She gulped smoke down as her nice eyes looked at her fingers. Her way to get smoke had interested me to get same way. So I did.
14) Just wanna smoke. Do I need a reason?
15) No reason.

(You can read more here…)

Just Write

It’s not a poem or a story. It’s just what I wanna write. I like it or not, you like it or not, I’ll post it here. It’s not for me myself or one of you. It’s just what I wanna write. I’m letting my fingers to type what they wanna type. This written paper will have a meant or not, I don’t care. Here’s what my fingers typing:

I don’t know why I immediately feel so bad. I just wanna keep my mouth from any words. I don’t wanna do something. I just wanna let my brain get rest. I just wanna close my eyes, not to see my fingers typing. I just wanna be alone. I just wanna talk to my heart. This life has never been fair. Acting on the stage is what we’re doing.

I don’t know why I immediately feel so sad. I cant see there’s a bright in this world. I hope this world will stop around. It just wastes time to circle this universe without bringing happiness for itself. It’s just doing something un-useful. None will care of it. None. None will see its sadness as none will see mine.

Have you ever cried but you don’t know why you do. Have you ever think this world just has a narrow place for you. Have you ever seen the sadness power you strong?

I came to a friend’s home. He asked me why I looked so sad. But I didn’t say a word. I just sit down on the sofa. But I didn’t wanna let myself trapped at that beautiful house. I got to the car and drove it speed. As I played Guns n Roses hard I cried. I let ‘Patience’ and ‘Estranged’ filled full my mind. I played them again and again. I didn’t know why and what for. I just felt so sad. I just wanna cried. I had never cried for so many years. I almost forgot how to cry….

(You can read more here…)

Rudeness in Indonesian Guys’ View

How can they have 180 degrees difference of opinions?

My friends say I have much love in my heart. They say I’m honest and they like to hear my opinion when they must face a problem because I’ll show them the truth. I’m kind and love mankind.
And the other hand, many office mates say I’m rude. My words are too rude, I always answer sharply and speak straight forward. I’m not like an Indonesian in views and life style. I shouldn’t be so honest because I’m an Indonesian. Are they too opposite each other?

I don’t mind what other people think of me. I don’t mind what they all will say about me. For all reasons, I won’t change myself into somebody. I know I’m not a perfect one. I may do something wrong and I’m not good enough in religion, at least I won’t share my opinion based on my religion except people ask me.

A hard one is I can’t hide something bad behind my back. I won’t say a bad thing as a good thing even for my enemy. I won’t push my enemies (If I had) to a gorge. I’ll say the truth even it’s too bitter to say. I’d heard many people say that I shouldn’t say the truth for my enemies or especially my boss. Why can’t I? Why should I hide the truth for some people and say it for others? In my eyes, all people are same. Just because they eat different food, it doesn’t mean they’re special in this case. The truth will be the truth in everywhere. It doesn’t care if you like it or not or you can take it or not.

I won’t appreciate my office mates based on their personal behave but just based on their skill or works. I sometimes don’t see or say hi to some of them for weeks because of my busy days. I don’t care what they will do as long as they don’t take hand on my work, I won’t be busy with their private business.

About Yesterday

I proved once again that being honest ain’t a good thing here in my country. School arranged a workshop for all components in the school but students. We’ll use an adoptive-adaptive curriculum in new academic year, so we need to create new administrative papers. The problem is the new curriculum should be written in two kinda languages, Indonesian and English, for math, physics, chemistry, and biology which these four subjects will adapt and adopt Cambridge curriculum.

As usual, I used to ask what I should or may do and make everything clear before I start to work. So I asked the chairman of the workshop. This guy doesn’t teach one of those subjects. He teaches social science. He answered me with his mother language which I couldn’t understand.

‘Okay, I’ll ask you once again. Which curriculum will we use, IGCSE and A/AS level or IGCSE only? Which year of curriculum should we use because we’re managing a curriculum for new academic? The students will take the examination in 2010. The fastest one may be in 2009 but we just have curriculum 2008. Let’s make everything clear what we should do first,’ I repeated as tried to speak loud because we’re in the school’s main hall and no a microphone with me. He couldn’t hear me if I spoke softly, could he?

He took a seat beside me and showed me his mad face. I didn’t care if he got mad. I just needed to know what I had to do. I can’t start to work before I know what I should do, right? Then he said that I’d used rude words. How the hell should I speak? What kinda words would he like to hear? I’ll say they’re typical Indonesians for such guys. They don’t know what to do but when others can do better they’ll say badly for them. God damn it, why most Indonesian guys can’t accept their weaknesses?

When I told an Indonesian male friend about it, he agreed with me. In his opinion, it’s really true. See, he’s a guy and he’s an Indonesian but he agreed with me!

(You can read more here…)

BOMB

Once again I received an offline message from an Indian friend telling me how Indian Muslims bombed a town there, named Jaipur. The bomb blast had killed twenties people and hundreds injured. Jaipur ain’t a city of Indonesia and I’m not an origin Indian. Not because my daddy lives in India and I have some good Indian friends and they live in some cities over there, so I think the bomb is a wrong-bad-fool thing.
Without I planned, I recalled my memory about Bali bombing. I still could remember how hundreds people died and thousands injured. Many of the killed people were foreigners. The most were Americans.

A few months later the bombers were arrested but not all Indonesians believed that they were the real bombers. I had no opinion if they’re real bombers or not but I got happy if police had arrested the real bombers. They might be just victims as the world wanted the bombers and didn’t care who they were. But years later the time proved that they really knew how to kill and they believed something stupid about being a killer. Those bastards look so innocent, they speak softly as they can’t kill even an ant. But they did, not just ants but people in the early morning of October 13, 2002 in Bali, a Goddess Island of Indonesia.

I’m not reminding everyone how bad it was. It ain’t an interesting story to tell at all. The victims and their relatives don’t wanna watch the movie which bases on it. I can understand. I who don’t have any relatives or even someone I might know as a victim can’t stand any more to recall the story. Not full story, neither even a little part.

Islam and Peace

I love peace. God also loves peace, doesn’t He? I can’t understand how people can kill other people in the name of Him then? I read the Bali bombers told that they might go to heaven if they could kill their enemies. The enemies are people who have different religion with them. They may be Muslims. So they wanna tell the world that Islamic rules allow them to kill other people. How do the hell they argue so? Is that what Islamic rules really say? I can’t believe that even a word!

Islam loves peace. Muhammad the Prophet (p.u.h) by using Hadist and Quran taught his follower to love other people. He never taught his follower to kill people or even animals without any reasons. He appreciated other religions and he never forced anybody to convert into Muslims. He worked together with his Muslims guys and other religions’ guys. He corresponded with the king of Roman. He taught to proud of Jesus Christ as one of the Muslims’ messengers.

I’m a Muslim though I’m not a good one for sure but at least I never think to kill other people or even just hurt them, both Muslims and people of other religions. I know God never made a mistake in anyways and he isn’t blind, doesn’t need to sleep or even take rest, doesn’t need to eat or drink, and we human can’t hide anything from Him. He’ll punish who has destroyed His earth. I believe this in my life.

(You can read more here…)

Oh God, I still Love Him Up till Now!

Is it funny enough to love Guns n Roses in your rest life as this old band is broken already? Is it stupid enough to wait for the Chinese Democracy as it’s unreleased after years waiting for the most wanted album? I’m that one stupid people of millions.

I never spend a day without listening to one of G n R’s songs. The funny thing is I can’t listen to their new songs but old ones only because Axl holds his new album on his own hands and doesn’t wanna share them all with his fans. I’m –as millions people in this planet doing – waiting that great new album, thinking he will release it, while listening to his old albums.

I had tried to hate him because of his bad attitude. I even wrote down on a paper why I still waited for his songs, why I still listened to his old songs, why I should love his songs and why I saved his pictures in my laptop, to make a way to leave him and his old songs. I had listened to his speeches as he always used to choose bad-rude words while tried thinking that he’d acted so bad. But they all didn’t work at all.

I think he won’t release his new album, never, but a small space in my heart is still looking forward. And that stupid heart has saved some songs of Guns n Roses in my cell phone, makes it as ring tones for SMS and a call. It also uses his hundreds photos as screen saver in my laptop. That’s so stupid and it’s my heart!

(You can read more here…)