National Examination for Indonesian Senior High School

I just wanna congratulate my students of XII level who are going to take a final examination of senior high school. The time is next Tuesday, April 22, 2008. It's the waited day for them all of course as they've been studying hard (or not, depends on the students) for three years for regular students and about two years for acceleration students.

How can you prepare it?

If you just wanna prepare yourselves right now it's tooooo late! You should had spent years (2-3 years) as well as you could before. But... if you had passed them not as what you'd planned, there's no any other way to change the time but just face your days.
I just wanna say that it's pretty late to take any courses to know the easier way to solve the problems of your specific subjects. But not too late if you could pass the final examination and then you wanna prepare yourselves to take any higher level. There's no wrong to learn something new but start it now or never. Don't blame yourselves because you'd passed a few years by wrong ways. At least you can start it for the next higher level of your education.

Be a honest person

You may not prepare yourselves so good but it doesn't mean you can do any way to take good scores. As I'm always telling you all that you have to be honest young people. If you're taking the examination and you couldn't answer as many as you hope in the exam, please don't cheat. Because being a cheater will prove yourselves and every single person that you're nothing! Don't be a looser for nothing you can sell for!

The last words in this post

I love you and I'm sure that you all have known it since long time ago. So kids, with my big love for you all, I'm gonna accompany you in your examination days by praying for you all.

(You can read more here…)

God Should Know

I have a big question for God. Does He know what my heart is speaking? If He answered yes, He should know what He might do. If He answered no, I’d tell Him all feelings I’m having right now. But I guess He knows already so I don’t need to explain it all here. That’s why I’m wondering so much why He just keeps silent. I don’t know why He doesn’t wanna work by his miraculous hands on this case. I asked him for years. Does He wanna see my sadness again after years it has accompanied me? God, You know I hate crying.

So we must wait and wait for something which we don’t know where it will end or when it will end. Oh God, please just give me a clue. I wish our dreams would come true before we gave up.
For God’s sake, He should do something in this case.He did, I guess, but I didn't like His chosen way because I couldn't see a good part of it yet. Sighhh....

(You can read more here…)

P*RN

When I heard that Indonesian government would close any fissure of porn in internet, I thought it’s pretty crazy. But it happened. The government would like to have idiot citizen by locking the p*rn in internet, right? It’s not because I like to watch porn spreading in internet as I have a teen with me but how we can say something is p*rn or another thing isn’t because p*rn is not same for every single person.

The saddest thing for me is they also block Youtube even we may find so many good channels over there. As I have no much time to watch television and because television just give me nothing so I’d like to watch news from Youtube. From Youtube, I knew how the world – ordinary people in the world in this context – accepts Indonesians and my country. I also learnt new vision of my religion over there. But they block it and they can’t show me other choices to improve my needs. How stupid!

I have my own opinion about this case why the government would like to block certain websites. You know, when someone thinks others will do something he probably has done that. So… because so many members of parliament loved to watch p*rn in internet and their children also loved to watch the same, they thought the p*rn would spread in all homes of Indonesians and it’s very danger because they won’t be the special members of p*rn websites!

Today they’ve planned to block Wikipedia and Google. They think Google has opened the way for porn. Don’t they know that Google is a search engine? By blocking a search engine meaning you’re closing a street! I’d love to inform those idiot people to block Yahoo! and Yahoo! messenger also. If they did it, they’re really idiot donkeys!God knows how they have been closing any door of Indonesian people to see the wide world.

(You can read more here…)

It's Really Bad

Seems it has any relation with last post titled 'Not Good Enough', doesn't it? But hey... it just describes a few parts, not all.

Because I wasn't good enough, I used to be alone and tried to analyze why it happened. The result is... I still don't know why it has been happening and what I should do to solve it. Honestly it's getting worse today... and it's really bad now.

I've thought too much I guess and my head is asking me to stop thinking about it because it's really overload so I can't post any good story here.

I don't know when I'll come back but I will as soon as I can... for sure.

(You can read more here…)

Not Good Enough

The most women may use their feeling to solve a problem but for sure it ain't my way at all. But hey... I'm a woman, right? How cannot I use same way with other women? Had I got too close with my father to make me think as what guys think? I thought I wasn't so close with my father when I was a teen only. But later we were. A few years before he passed away, he told mom, my sisters and brother that he wanna stay with me if mom went away before him. I can still remember how he stared at me when he at first time knew that I'd decided to wear hijab. I thought we weren't so close but he chose me to live with. He'd talk so much to me when he's staying with me. He talked everything and reminded me that I wasn't alone in this world. He said that I shouldn't take other people as I'd accepted myself because not all guys were good. Some people out there might get the advantages for themselves if I did trust them too much. I didn't know why he said so. But all are the truth I guess. And now I also cant use feeling as what other women do.

The title above describe my recent feeling. Not good enough. I don't know why I can't focus well on something. Am I too tired of this sucked life? Am I too old to think much? Yes I'm old already as I'm a mom of teenagers. I'd also seen too much in this world and many parts of it were so bad in my eyes. Yes, many parts....

I may be too tired to listen to office mates lying too much in their works. I just be close with a few number of office mates because they will tell me if I did wrong things. They're true friends I guess. But recently I can't chat with them as I have too much work and must go out when they all are in school. I think (see... I'm thinking again... this brain will be overload soon...) I don't know what to say because I'm not good enough inside.

(You can read more here…)