BOMB

Once again I received an offline message from an Indian friend telling me how Indian Muslims bombed a town there, named Jaipur. The bomb blast had killed twenties people and hundreds injured. Jaipur ain’t a city of Indonesia and I’m not an origin Indian. Not because my daddy lives in India and I have some good Indian friends and they live in some cities over there, so I think the bomb is a wrong-bad-fool thing.
Without I planned, I recalled my memory about Bali bombing. I still could remember how hundreds people died and thousands injured. Many of the killed people were foreigners. The most were Americans.

A few months later the bombers were arrested but not all Indonesians believed that they were the real bombers. I had no opinion if they’re real bombers or not but I got happy if police had arrested the real bombers. They might be just victims as the world wanted the bombers and didn’t care who they were. But years later the time proved that they really knew how to kill and they believed something stupid about being a killer. Those bastards look so innocent, they speak softly as they can’t kill even an ant. But they did, not just ants but people in the early morning of October 13, 2002 in Bali, a Goddess Island of Indonesia.

I’m not reminding everyone how bad it was. It ain’t an interesting story to tell at all. The victims and their relatives don’t wanna watch the movie which bases on it. I can understand. I who don’t have any relatives or even someone I might know as a victim can’t stand any more to recall the story. Not full story, neither even a little part.

Islam and Peace

I love peace. God also loves peace, doesn’t He? I can’t understand how people can kill other people in the name of Him then? I read the Bali bombers told that they might go to heaven if they could kill their enemies. The enemies are people who have different religion with them. They may be Muslims. So they wanna tell the world that Islamic rules allow them to kill other people. How do the hell they argue so? Is that what Islamic rules really say? I can’t believe that even a word!

Islam loves peace. Muhammad the Prophet (p.u.h) by using Hadist and Quran taught his follower to love other people. He never taught his follower to kill people or even animals without any reasons. He appreciated other religions and he never forced anybody to convert into Muslims. He worked together with his Muslims guys and other religions’ guys. He corresponded with the king of Roman. He taught to proud of Jesus Christ as one of the Muslims’ messengers.

I’m a Muslim though I’m not a good one for sure but at least I never think to kill other people or even just hurt them, both Muslims and people of other religions. I know God never made a mistake in anyways and he isn’t blind, doesn’t need to sleep or even take rest, doesn’t need to eat or drink, and we human can’t hide anything from Him. He’ll punish who has destroyed His earth. I believe this in my life.

(You can read more here…)

Oh God, I still Love Him Up till Now!

Is it funny enough to love Guns n Roses in your rest life as this old band is broken already? Is it stupid enough to wait for the Chinese Democracy as it’s unreleased after years waiting for the most wanted album? I’m that one stupid people of millions.

I never spend a day without listening to one of G n R’s songs. The funny thing is I can’t listen to their new songs but old ones only because Axl holds his new album on his own hands and doesn’t wanna share them all with his fans. I’m –as millions people in this planet doing – waiting that great new album, thinking he will release it, while listening to his old albums.

I had tried to hate him because of his bad attitude. I even wrote down on a paper why I still waited for his songs, why I still listened to his old songs, why I should love his songs and why I saved his pictures in my laptop, to make a way to leave him and his old songs. I had listened to his speeches as he always used to choose bad-rude words while tried thinking that he’d acted so bad. But they all didn’t work at all.

I think he won’t release his new album, never, but a small space in my heart is still looking forward. And that stupid heart has saved some songs of Guns n Roses in my cell phone, makes it as ring tones for SMS and a call. It also uses his hundreds photos as screen saver in my laptop. That’s so stupid and it’s my heart!

(You can read more here…)

How Do We Possible Have Our Sweet Home?

When I decided to buy that house, it ain’t because we needed a house. We rented a nice home and I saved remain of money as I wasn’t a good shopper. As I had no much time to go out and also couldn’t stand crowded places, I’d rather be home. Because the saving money was much enough to credit a small house with its small space, and my office male mates burnt me to buy one, so I did. But I didn’t think we would live there at that time.

But years later I thought that I wasted some money to rent a big house and let my own small house just standing there without someone would clean it. So I tried to save money again –I lost all of saving money because of one reason- and slow but sure we tried to keep in our mind that the house was belong to us. My son and I went there sometimes just to check if we did have our house. It was funny enough, right? When we decided to move there, friends said that it’s a good choice. Because when we had stayed at our own home, we would think what more we might do for the home and when we needed to buy a stuff we would mention if that stuff would suit with our rooms. I thought it’s true.

So we –my son and I- wrote down what we needed and what we had to do first. Paint the house! I calculated how much it was but my son challenged me that we could paint our home by ourselves because it would have good paint that if we asked for others. I got laugh at first thinking it’s so impossible because I had no time. But he said that we could try. Yeah, we could of course! He told me that he wanna paint his room colorful. And we did! It has blue sky, soft pink and soft yellow!

Then I thought it’s impossible for me to have a sweet home because price of all matters were so high. But then I knew the key.

When the money is limited but we wanna have our sweet home, we can calculate how much money we should pay. Then ask the maintenance guys to calculate and how much we need to pay them. When it’s much lesser, we can ask for them to do all parts and we just know it’ll be finished and we will take the home key. When it’s much higher, we can buy the matters by ourselves and pay them just for their work. We should draw a blue print of the house and explain details for the maintenance guys. Don’t build all parts in one time. Just build one by one.

We sufficiently will have our own sweet home for sure!

(You can read more here…)

Where Should We Put Love?

It should go to a right place. Where is the right place? Nobody can predict where it is because nobody can read his/her future.

It’s something interesting when a guy asked me more about my identity just to make him himself sure about his dream. He one day had a dream that he would marry a woman from Indonesia and that dream also told him about her name. For those reasons, he asked my complete name, my date of birth, time of birth, and what the place name was. I asked him if the dream also told him about all things completely. He said he just wanna ask a smart person who could read future if I was his destiny. Wow, it’s more interesting than I knew before.

Yes we’re old friends. In my view, friends shouldn’t be in love each other as a woman and a man. Friends are friends. The love between friends is different with the love between a man and a woman. The relationship between friends is so special but it’s different with a man-a woman relationship.

I got mad with him when about one week later he came and told me the result of his trip. He said the smart person told him that everything between us was good. He clearly told me that he would marry me. What the fuck! How can he marry a woman just because he listens to the stranger? The smart person is a stranger for him, right? How can people believe in what a smart person's views just because he says that he can see the future or read lines on your palm? Wake up, it’s a new millennium where we live in the one world only and we can know what happens in other side of the world in second? When I told him these all, he got laugh so hard and said that I sounded like someone who didn’t believe in Goddess. He said I’m frustrated for years and it had changed me. What the hell is it? Me? Don’t believe in God? Oh my, nobody will say so. Everyone knows that I believe in Him but I just can’t believe in guy who acting as Him.

For me, I won’t be in love with a guy who I don’t know much about him. I may have a sweet feeling for him but it’s not a love. It happens just because he’s a man and I’m a woman. It’s something like when you meet an interesting one and you think you both may have fun together but it just what you think about you and that man/woman but not what you do in real with him/her. So it’s not a love at all.

So what we can say about love? It’s something unpredictable, neither by old people nor by young ones.

My Love

Not easy to say that I can be in love with someone after long bad past I had. What happened? It’s too long to tell but too much longer to write. I’d like to let it pass away and leave it behind.

Where do I put my love then? I share with every single person surround me and with some special ones. Some? Yes. But they get different loves from me. One of them is so special in my heart. He’s a nice-good guy with a big loving heart who is decent to be loved. He told me one day that I had covered the holes of his heart where he had placed his love long time before. For me, it means he loves me. So I think I’m not clapping in the air by my one hand.

I sufficiently wanna say that a love is something special in your heart when it comes to the right place. Find your right place and put your love over there. A love just comes from the God, never come from the evil.

(You can read more here…)

How Did I Face Threats?

These are my experiences of facing threats.

The first threat came from a father of my ex student who had to move out from our school because the student had collided many rules of the school. I tried to persuade the student that being a student of our school wasn’t the only one way to get success. So even he had to move to other school he could be success, I said.

A couple weeks later his parent phoned me and threatened me that he would report me to the police station because I had blamed his son in front of other students after his son moved out. I said he could ask every singe person in the school what I did to his son. If he could find something bad that I had done to his son, he might report me and I would face him. I wasn’t afraid of anything if I didn’t do something bad, I just tried to teach my students as well as I could and I didn’t mention who their parents but I would take care of them all as they were my own children, I explained him. I accept his son or other people’s sons here at dormitory as my own sons.

Every body is special in my heart. I’ll never hate a kid just because I have problem with his/her parents or sisters or brothers. I’ll get mad when kids try to against any rule but I never punish one of them. I’ll ask them what they should do. For an example, when kids don’t clean their room, I’ll ask them to clean it up. I don’t care they’re getting a sweet dream at that time. I’ll make them up and do what they should do before they sleep. Students say that they don’t wanna have a problem with me because I actually don’t give them a punishment but I will get discipline in anything. Students of X level say that they will rather face the principal than me because when I say something I’ll do that and I’ll get discipline with the made rules.

The second threat came from a woman who considered herself as a member of a Citizen Social Activity Group (LSM). At first she sent me a sms to ask the principal’s cell phone number. I replied her that I didn’t know it. About one hour later she sent me a number of sms and all said bad things of our school, SMA Plus Negeri 17 Palembang. I replied one by one and at that time I didn’t know that she’s a woman. By reading her rude words and statements, I thought she’s a man. When I phoned her cell number back, it’s engaged. I did about 4-5 times but she didn’t wanna pick it up.

The second incompletely sms of her said something wrong about Our School Olympiad Team. I replied ‘sorry, your sms came to me incompletely and you sent to a wrong person. I’m not a decision maker in SMA 17. I’m a trainer of Chemistry Olympiad and all students of Chemistry Olympiad Team reached the higher competition, is the province level. Sorry that I don’t like SMS, too lazy to press keypads’.
But she replied again and said worse about the school. One of my reply said ‘Wow, you know nothing about SMA Plus Negeri 17 Palembang. Better not to say something which you don’t know about. BTW thanks for sms, hope they would motivate all members of 17’.

But she replied me again with a sms which had no relation with my last sms and sent me some sms then. She tried to threat me and the school. she hoped I would get mad for her and I might reply her with bad words. She’s stupid and she didn’t know me at all. I replied her again ‘U look stupid much more than I thought of u before. I HATE sms, ok? Just pick your phone up or be a looser in your rest life. Get me, guy?’
I knew later that she’s a woman because she explained it by another sms.

Who is that stupid woman?

If she’s really a woman and she doesn’t know me, she’s really stupid. She just tried to fool me by her sms but she’d get nothing. Poor people!

I don’t wanna waste energy just because some bad words purposed to me or my work. If she would talk to me, I’d explaine her what she wanted to know about me myself, school, and my work. I bet she was trying to find something wrong in my work but she couldn’t find one anyway. I’m not talking that I’m perfect in work but at least I had given the best for me for school and students. If someone dare to say that I didn’t do my job well, she must be crazy. None will hear her words.

For me when I decide to do something I’ll give the best of me. I won’t ask other people to help me before I myself will try that work again and again. I won’t take a job which I think I can’t do well. I know what I can or can’t do because I just take hands on my work not on other people’s works.

How could I be calm when they're threating me?

Just don’t think that you’re talking to normal people. Imagine this: can you get mad to crazy-minded people? If u answered ‘no way’ you’re a normal one. So normal people should listen to in-normal people because it’s a way to recover their heart and mind.

(You can read more here…)

The Shoddy Education System of Indonesia

Was I too stupid or blind so I couldn’t see the shoddy education system in Indonesia? How could I pass anything around me for years as a teacher who has been in the education system in this country? Just because I don’t do that, I shouldn’t be blind.

Let me make it clear.

I was shocked enough when a XII grader told me that the newspapers today had painted about the national final examination. They reported about 1-2 senior high schools in the city which had cheated in the national exam. He told me that the teachers of those schools who had cheated the national exam, giving the answer keys of the national exam questions to their students. They opened the seal of covered question papers a few hours before the real examination should take place. They answered the questions and shared the answers for their students and students then shared the answer keys to their friends. Thus, all XII graders in the city had known the answers before they went to the school to take the exam. What the fuck!

The student told me that he didn’t trust the answer keys because he had studied and he trusted himself. He might say that because he’s one of our brilliant students as he’s a national Chemistry Olympiad participant. What about other students who aren’t too good academically?

When I was taking the university lecture, a class mate told me the same story of the national exam. I just could say ‘Oh my God, oh my God’ many times to show how I got shocked. He smiled but understood that I did don’t know about it. He told everything then. You all realize now why the title of this post is ‘The Shoddy Education System of Indonesia’.

How Could Teachers Do That?

I give these questions to teachers who have run that way. 

Don’t you think you shouldn’t be a teacher because you show a bad behave directly into students’ deep eyes? Where will you take the students by showing them a bad lesson of life? Do you think that you should be with them all the time of their life? How do they can be possible face their life when you take hands in all of their important jobs but you don’t show them the way of facing life? How can we have good fighters if we fight for them in their battles?

I know sometimes I show bad attitude for others, students in this case, but I never think I’ll teach them how to cheat. I’d taught students and prepared them all to take the exam since they’re in X grade and I thought the preparation was completed. For about three years, teachers in our school had taught students how to fight, prepared their guns, and showed them how to win the battle. I know if we had more time we’d teach them again and again but the time was over. They're ready or not, they must fight.

We all –I at least– trust them that they must be able to pass the final examination with good scores.

Pay Much Money For Nothing?

I’m curious why the government wanna waste so much time and money for a big nothing? What for they created the chosen good-standard questions to select which students might pass the exam and which ones might lost if the teachers who would answer those questions and not students?

In my opinion, it’s not fault of the teachers only. It’s a circle of the shoddy education system. I can’t think wrong about teachers not because I’m also a teacher. I think they need money as we all do. Their salary may be too low to pay everything –assume that they just earn from school and have no any other job but teach– and they’ll lost their job if students failed in the final exam. If the number of those students is big enough, the number of new students in the next academic year will be less than the last year. It’s a devil circle in education as the government can’t warrant good life for the citizen.

So what for we waste money to form a certain team and to create the final questions if the questions could select no students? Let’s forget about the final examination for the last grade of each level education if we do think about our society. Why don’t we use the money to create a better life for poor people so we may have a better life in this country? Government can use the money to pay a better education so students can study in any good school without paying any cent. We can pay the money for teachers to take higher education so they can develop their ability and skill and our education system will be better in the future. Having good education means having good generations.

God damn it, we gonna see soon how this country will disappear from the world map.

(You can read more here…)